


One of Us is Lying, One of Us is Crying

by Iamsherlocked67



Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Homophobia, Hurt, Love, M/M, Slurs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-08
Updated: 2019-02-08
Packaged: 2019-10-24 16:02:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,195
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17707343
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Iamsherlocked67/pseuds/Iamsherlocked67
Summary: Even though they aren’t in a relationship, it sure feels like one when Jonny is forced to end things with Patrick





	One of Us is Lying, One of Us is Crying

**Author's Note:**

> Set in 2010.  
> I have no idea if Mr. Kane is homophobic—he’s probably a real nice guy but he is over invested in Patrick’s career.  
> And, this is totally made up, Completely. Absolutely.  
> Warning: there are some homophobic slurs
> 
> Title comes from ABBA, Mamma Mia

Jonny never expected it. But, then again, who expects to start fooling around with their teammate? Jonny had heard rumors about junior teams and bro jobs and cuddle puddles, but he never played junior and he couldn’t even imagine giving anyone at Shattuck or UND a bro job. He knows that he will be forever forced to admit that he and T.J. had the occasional cuddle—there is photographic evidence-but nothing beyond that ever happened.

But, Patrick Kane. Jonny doesn’t even know how it happened. One minute, during their rookie year, they are arguing about something and then...Jonny has his tongue down Kaner’s throat. He remembers pulling away, panting, and looking into Patrick’s blue eyes. “Yeah?” he asked. “Yeah” Patrick replied. And, that was that. So, for three years they have been fooling around. Nothing serious, nothing deep. Over the years, there had been girlfriends for both of them but when those relationships had ended, Jonny and Patrick were back together.

They don’t try to analyze it. And, it works. Until it doesn’t.

*** *** ***

Jonny realizes that something has changed for him at the Vancouver Olympics. He find himself trying to spend as much time with Patrick as he can at the expense of team time, which is plain weird. Duncs makes fun of him, but when he sees the expression on Jon’s face, he backs off. Jonny is at USA House so often, Kesler accuses him of trying to defect.

But, when Patrick sees Jonny lurking outside the rink after a USA practice, he can’t hide his smile as he walks over to him.

“Dude, it doesn’t matter how often you hide out here spying. USA is going to kick your ass” Kaner says with an infectious grin.

Jonny snorts, smiles back and replies “You wish! We don’t need to spy on you. Canada is going home with the gold, USA boy!”

Patrick laughs and throws his arm around Jonny’s waist. “C’mon, I’m hungry. Let’s go eat”

Jonny lets Patrick direct him to the dining hall and tries to ignore the feeling of contentment that washes over him.   
*** *** ***

Well, it ended just like Jonny predicted. Canada wins the gold and Jonny is thrilled beyond belief. But...he just knows how devastated Kaner is. And, he wants to be with him. And, he can’t be. Because that isn’t what they do. Even if they do fuck. They may fuck but they don’t cross the line into feelings. Or, *shudder*, sharing feelings. But, Jonny doesn’t care.

Jonny is drenched in beer and champagne and thinks he has hugged every person in Canada. The scene at Canada House is so insane that he knows he can slip out unnoticed. But, he doesn’t count on running into Seabs in the hallway. 

Seabs isn’t feeling any pain at all and grabs Jonny. “Where are you going, Captain?” he yells in Jonny’s face.

Jonny pulls back from the smell of alcohol coming off Seabs in waves and says “Just going back to the room to take a piss.”

Seabs looks at him searchingly with bloodshot eyes and says “I call bullshit. You are going to see Kaner, right? You love Kaner. You kiss Kaner.”

Jonny tries to keep his face expressionless and says “We all love Kaner, Seabs.”

Seabs laughs and says “But we all don’t kissssssssss Kaner!” and then he begins to sing “Jonny and Patty sitting in a tree”.

Jonny quickly tells him to shut up, looking down the deserted hallway. 

Seabs plants a wet kiss on Jonny’s cheek and slurs “Don’t worry, Cap’n! Nobody cares. Now, go get y’er boy!” and then he stumbles back into the party.

Jonny prays Seabs doesn’t remember what he said in the morning and heads out to see Patrick.

*** *** ***  
He finds Patrick alone in the dining hall. Jonny had run into EJ and before he even asked him, EJ told him that Patrick was by himself in the cafeteria.

Jonny approaches him slowly and sits down across the table. He can tell that Patrick had been crying.

Jonny says softly “If you don’t want me here, I’ll leave”

Patrick looks at him with red eyes and replies “Stay.”

The look at each other for a few minutes and Jonny starts “Pat, I am so —-“

“No” Patrick says emphatically. “You are not going to apologize for winning the fucking gold medal! My heart is broken, Jonny, but that doesn’t mean I’m not happy for you.”

“How can you be?” Jonny asks incredulously. “If our positions were changed, I couldn’t even look at your face, let alone be happy for you.”

Then, Jonny reflects on what he just said and says “No, that’s not true. I would be happy for you because I know how happy you would be.”

Patrick sighs and says “Jonny, you are my best friend. What kind of friend would I be if I wasn’t happy for you? Crosby, though. He can suck my dick.”

Jonny laughs and says “I thought that was my job.”

Patrick smiles for the first time and says “Yeah, that position is filled.”

Jonny stands up and says “Pat, come stay in my room tonight. Duncs won’t care”

Before Jonny finishes his sentence, Patrick was shaking his head. “Go celebrate with your stupid teammates. I’ll see you at the airport”

Jonny looks around at the dining hall and notices a dark hallway leading to the kitchen. He motions to the hallway with his head and walks over with Patrick following. When they reach the middle of the hallway, Jonny makes sure they are still alone, pushes Patrick against the wall, and kisses him. The kiss is passionate, but sweet, trying to let him know how much Jonny is feeling.

He pulls away, winks like a douche and says “Something to remember me by” and walks away. Patrick gives a laugh, shakes his head and heads back to his room.

*** *** ***  
The next few months are insane between the publicity from the Olympics and the Hawks playoff push. Jonny and Patrick spend so much time together, it is like they live together. In fact, Jonny bitches that half his laundry is actually Patrick’s clothes. They are so comfortable together that Jonny finds himself absently reaching out to smooth Patrick’s curls while they are out to dinner with the boys or grabbing Patrick’s hand when they are walking down the street. Thankfully, he catches himself each time. Jonny is thankful that Seabs hasn’t mentioned their conversation at the Olympics. By March, Jonny has come to the conclusion that he has strong feelings for Kaner but he keeps that revelation to himself. It is clear to him that Kaner views their arrangement as just having fun and Jonny vows to enjoy it while it lasts and not fuck it up with feelings.

They are reckless one time but they think they get away with it. Though the Hawks will be away from Chicago on St. Patrick’s Day, the team has a party a few days before they leave. It’s a family party/skate and Patrick’s family is there, as usual. Though Jonny understands the investment that Patrick’s family has in him, he cannot understand why Patrick’s dad has to always be there. Every home game and some away games. Jonny can see the stress it adds to Pat, but he doesn’t say a word. 

The beer is plentiful and after several, Jonny can’t stop looking at Patrick’s lips. Patrick looks up and catches Jonny’s eye. Jonny motions towards the locker room and heads off the ice. Within a minute, Patrick meets him in the locker room. They immediately begin to kiss and move back against the wall. Patrick’s dick hardens agains Jonny’s leg and Jonny slips his hand down the front of Kaner’s pants. He starts stroking Patrick with just the right amount of pressure and it doesn’t take long before Patrick comes all over Jonny’s hand. Patrick reaches for Jonny to return the favor when they hear a noise. They quickly separate and Jonny grabs a nearby towel. Their breathing is almost back to normal when Tiki walks into the locker room. 

“Buzz, I thought I saw you come in here. Your sisters want to skate with you. Can you come back on the ice?” Tiki says.

“Oh, sure. Jonny and I came in here to fix Jonny’s skate lace” Patrick stammers. “I’ll head out there now”

Tiki gives Jonny a long look and says “Yeah, Buzz. Let’s go now.”

Once Jonny is alone, he lets out a breath he didn’t even know he was holding. He can’t decide if he thinks Tiki saw them or not. If he did, it won’t be good. Jonny doesn’t know if it Tiki’s religion or just general homophobia, but he has heard Tiki saying some decidedly unPC comments about gay people. Though Jonny doesn’t consider himself gay (he hasn’t quite come up with a label that feels right), he is a human being and the insults make him feel ill. Jonny has actually said something to Tiki on occasion though it hasn’t made a difference. Ultimately, Jonny chooses to believe that Tiki didn’t see anything and goes back to the ice to enjoy the party.

*** *** ***  
Jonny should have know that his luck wasn’t that good. He is getting ready to nap before the Hawks next home game, when his doorman buzzes up. He knows it can’t be Patrick, because when the Kanes are in town, Patrick is required to be with them. When the doorman tells him that Tiki Kane wants to come up, Jonny’s stomach drops. He tells Teddy to send him up and Jonny wishes he could take a quick shot of tequila for confidence.

He is leaning against the door jamb when Tiki gets off the elevator.

“Tiki, hi. Is everything alright?” Jonny asks.

“Fine, Jonathan. I have something i need to discuss with you” Tiki says gruffly, as he pushes past Jonny into the apartment.

“Come on in, Tiki” Jonny mutters as he shuts the door and follows Tiki into his living room.

“Can i get you something to drink?” Jonny asks, his Canadian politeness on display.

“I’m not going to be here that long.” Tiki says as he sits down. “Listen, Jonny. I’m going to be blunt. I saw you and Patrick doing whatever you were doing during the St. Patrick’s Day party. I can only assume that you took advantage of Patrick having a few beers because I know my son isn’t a faggot.”

Jonny’s mouth has dropped open in shock that someone would speak this way. Before he can utter a word, Tiki continues.

“If this got out, it would ruin Patrick’s career. We have sacrificed too much for Patrick to blow it because you have convinced him to let you touch his dick.”

Tiki leans forward and says “Jonathan, I am going to say this once. You will stay away from Patrick unless it has to do with hockey or the team. If you don’t, I will go to Stan. You may be the captain, but captains are traded every season. This team needs Patrick a hell of a lot more than they need you. And, it may be 2010, but nobody wants a fag on their team.”

Jonny stood up and said “Mr. Kane, you need to get out of my house right now.”

Tiki stood up and said “Oh, I’m leaving, Jonathan. Just remember, I meant what I said. I will not let anything or anybody derail Patrick’s career. I will end your career, Jonathan, if it means saving Patrick’s.”

With that pronouncement, Tiki walked out.

Jonny is shaking with anger. He honestly doesn’t know what to do. His first instinct is to call Patrick, but that is clearly out of the question. Instead, he sits down and actually gets that drink. There is one thing that Tiki said that Jonny thinks is true—if this ever got out, their careers would be over. Oh, the NHL preaches acceptance, but the reality is very different. Even the kindest guys that he had met over the years thought nothing of calling someone a cocksucker. As much as it breaks his heart, Jonny decides that he has to accede to Tiki’s wishes and push Patrick away, treating him as a teammate and not a lover.

Over the next few days, Jonny begins by gathering up as much of Patrick’s crap as he can, ready for the next time Patrick comes over. He doesn’t have to wait long. As soon as the elder Kanes head back to Buffalo, Patrick is at Jonny’s door.

Jonny lets him in but is aloof. Patrick has a confused look on his face and reaches for Jonny as he walks by. “Hey, it’s been a while. Do you want to go to the bedroom?” Patrick asks.

Jonny avoids Patrick’s hand and says “Kaner, we need to talk. Come sit.”

Jonny heads over to the couch and forces himself to look at Pat’s face. “Listen, we’ve had a good run, but I’m just not into this anymore. You understand, right?”

A number of emotions cross Patrick’s face, ending with hurt. “What are you talking about? Jonny, we are good together. Everything is good. Why are you doing this?”

Jonny hopes his face doesn’t reveal his true feelings when he says “I don’t want to be with you, Patrick. That’s it.”

Patrick’s eyes fill with tears and he can’t stop them from falling. “Jonny, please don’t do this. I love you. I know i haven’t said it, but I realized it as soon as we came back from Vancouver. I know you love me, too. Whatever is wrong, we can work it out.”

“We aren’t dating, Patrick. There is nothing to work out. This was the definition of casual. Whenever we were free, we would fuck. I don’t want to do it anymore. Don’t embarrass yourself, Kaner” Jonny says, pointing at the box by the door. “I put your stuff in a box.”

Kaner’s face is red and the tears won’t stop. He looks over at the box Jonny indicated and can’t believe that Jonny planned this.

“This isn’t going to affect our hockey, Kaner. We are adults, right?” Jonny asks.

Patrick gets up as in a trance and picks up his box. “Sure, Jonny, we will be fine.” he says in a robotic voice as he walks out the door. “See you around.”

When the door shuts, Jonny immediately runs to the bathroom and empties his stomach in the toilet. When he is done vomiting, he sits against the tile wall and begins to sob. He can’t help but to think that the best thing in his life just walked out his door.

*** *** ***

Apparently, heartbreak is good for his and Kaner’s games because they just light it up. The playoffs are no walk in the park and before they know it, the Blackhawks are playing the Flyers in the Stanley Cup Finals. Jonny and Patrick haven’t spoken one word to each other since that fateful evening that didn’t have to do with hockey or the team. Sharpy, Duncs & Seabs have been sharing concerned looks whenever they think Jonny and Kaner aren’t looking. Whenever Seabs broaches the topic of Kaner, Jonny starts talking about hockey.

Jonny and Patrick are still roommates and surprisingly, that is fine. They don’t speak but are remarkably respectful of each other. Much more respectful than they had been before. Jonny hates it. He longs for Patrick to scream at him, to flop on his bed and talk his ear off. But, he knows that can’t happen. Tiki and Donna have been to every game during the Finals. When Tiki noticed that Jonny and Patrick were no longer attached at the hip, he came over to Jonny and said quietly “You made the right choice, Jonathan.”

Jonny couldn’t help himself when he replied “Fuck you, Mr. Kane. Any choice I made was for Patrick. I would never do anything to hurt his career. Just do me a favor and stay the fuck away from me!”

As he stormed away, he only vaguely noticed Erica’s shocked face.

*** *** ***

Here it is! Game 6. Jonny has a good feeling that tonight is the night. The boys have fought hard and even though the games goes to overtime, Jonny is still confident that they will come out winners.

The overtime begins slowly but 4:06, Kaner pots the winner. Nobody but Patrick thinks it goes in, but once the team realizes it’s over and that they are Stanley Cup champions, they mob him at center ice at the Wachovia Center. 

In the middle of the celebration, Jonny and Patrick come face to face. Jonny doesn’t care that he pushed Patrick away and that Kaner probably doesn’t want him to touch him. He gathers up Kaner in a huge hug and says “We did it” in his ear. Patrick hugs him back tightly and whispers “I love you” in his ear. Again, Jonny doesn’t give a fuck at what happened before and says “I love you, too”. Patrick’s face lights up and before Jonny can react, Patrick grabs his face and kisses him on the lips. Jonny can’t help but begin to kiss him back and they pull away, panting. At that point, Jonny notices that the rest of the team have formed a protective circle around them. He knows it doesn’t matter, of course, as the TV cameras are everywhere, but he couldn’t love his team more than at that moment.

Patrick says “I know my dad said something to you to make you walk away and you need to know, I don’t give a fuck. We will clear this up later. Until then, you, me, the Stanley Cup, alcohol and sex is what is on the agenda. Yeah?”

Jonny smiles with tears in his eyes and replied “Yeah”.

*** *** ***  
Jonny and Patrick spent the next few weeks celebrating their victory and also their love. The video of them kissing was everywhere and the pure emotion on their faces and in their kiss made it pointless to pretend it was just an overflow of emotion from winning the cup. So, Patrick and Jonny became the first out players in any major sport. The Blackhawks support them and Mark Lazarus acts like he knew it along. He tweets “I told you they were adorable!” and it goes viral.

Tiki is furious but, in the press, is fully accepting. Patrick explained to Jonny that Erica had come to him before the game in Philly and had told him what she overheard. When Pat admitted his feelings for Jonny and that Jonny had ended their relationship, he and Erica realized that it was at Tiki’s urging. Pat made the decision that his happiness was more important than his family’s and he decided to make a big statement.  
Jonny laughed and said “Well, you certainly did make a big statement, Peeks.”

Patrick snuggled up to Jonny’s side and said “Well, what do you expect from Showtime?”

Jonny put his arm around Patrick and replied “I expect forever”

Patrick looked up him through his lashes and said “Yeah?” and Jonny replied with a smile “Yeah”.


End file.
